i give it two out of five ches.

Reason.com has a nice little bit of snark on Rolling Stone Magazine’s insipid “Five Economic Reforms Millennials Should Be Fighting For” article. For those of you who don’t want to drive up the click counter at Rolling Stone: one Jesse A. Myerson basically repackages the main pillars of the Communist Manifesto to appeal to modern-day ultra-progressive hipster sensibilities and advocates guaranteed public-sector jobs, a basic living stipend, and, oh yeah, abolishing private property. It reads like something a bunch of 19-year-old sociology students cooked up at Starbucks in an hour and a half over MacBooks and $5 lattes.

Look, I grew up in a divided country. Half of us had to live under the tyrannical yoke of capitalism, with private property and landlords and greedy bankers and stuff. The other half got to live in a place where every single item on Jesse A. Myerson’s economic reform wish list was in place. Guaranteed employment and basic living stipend from the state? Check. Communal ownership of everything (“take back the land”)? Check. Social security for all? Check. Public banking system? Check. On top of that, free education, free child care, free healthcare, and the strictest gun control imaginable.

Guess which half of the country had to put up barbed wire and minefields after a few years to keep its population from fleeing to the other half? Guess which half of the country ran its economy and environment into the ground?

Holy balls, that article is so chock-full of starry-eyed, self-righteous coffeehouse Trotzkyism, it practically vibrates with revolutionary fervor. Did you know that landlords, for example, don’t really do anything for their rent money? That they just “claim ownership” of some property and then sit there and collect cash from the working class? It’s true. This is amazing news to this landlord and his wife, who have been diligently paying off two mortgages all these years, and hired a property management company to maintain the place and make sure our tenants’ needs are met. Why, just last month we oppressed our poor working-class tenants by buying a new range and dishwasher to replace the old appliances that were starting to go all wonky on them. But yeah, other than paying the mortgage on the place every month, paying the management company, and making sure anything that breaks is fixed promptly, we do pretty much nothing but collect rent checks and sit on our asses.

<adjusts monocle, twirls handlebar mustache>

Anyway, that’s what you get when you run articles on economics written by professional Occupy Reality folks who have never had to make a payroll. Bet you that article is getting lots of clicks and views, though, which was probably the entire point. It sure as shit has nothing to do with progressivism or upsetting the current order, because Rolling Stone is about as hip and counter-culture as Citibank these days.

16 thoughts on “i give it two out of five ches.

  1. I can summarize the RS drivel in two sentences. “Please make it so I don’t *really* have to work and can sit around on my ass all day and play X-box. Oh, and you have to give me an X-box too.”

    • Right in one.

      He says as much in his second bulle… er, bong point: “Because as much as unemployment blows, so do jobs. What if people didn’t have to work to survive?

      • Pretty much, Tam. As I wrote elsewhere, modernity has allowed stupidity (a true luxury) to flourish to the point where people who have raised not a finger to provide for their own existence or the amenities they enjoy busy themselves lecturing others about a world they have never actually experienced in any meaningful way. They regale us with plans to reform entire societies yet lack the necessary skills to manage a Burger King.

  2. As a former landlord, I wholeheartedly agree.

    Now, the gallery on my monocle has gotten out of whack; do you know of a local establishment for service?
    I’m all set on mustache wax…

  3. Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it, but until they throw me in the grave I’ll be there to slap some sense into their Prozac addled minds.

    PS Getting antsy for the space kablooie sequel release.

  4. You know I’m pretty far on the left and even I think this guy’s suffocating and hallucinating on the fumes of his own distended anus from his head being shoved so far up his own ass his nose has made his innie an outie.


    This won’t work for the very reasons you describe, Marko. We’ve only seen people flee from supposedly “equal” nations to those where the yoke of capitalism is firmly in place. And yet there’s hipsters like this advocating those very same policies. It’s about as ridiculous as the folks who want the separation of church and state removed but don’t understand that they already have that in Iran.

    Kids these days. Their skulls aren’t fit for wiping my panda skin boots off on.

  5. If this were posted on Joe Schmoe’s Blog the first question I’d ask is “Idiot or trolling?”

    Since it’s on Rolling Stone’s web site … yeah. Same question.

    I’m leaning towards trolling, since even my left leaning friends (all but my absolute furthest left in la-la land friends anyway) have facepalmed after reading it.

  6. Well said, Marko. I think some of the problem is the apparent statist understanding that human history began about 20 years ago.

  7. Holy balls, that article is so chock-full of starry-eyed, self-righteous coffeehouse Trotzkyism, it practically vibrates with revolutionary fervor.

    Shrug. I don’t know. Sounds to me like the goodthink of any ordinary guest on the Bill Moyer’s show.

  8. “Look, I grew up in a divided country. ”

    What was the Packard advertising slogan?
    “Ask the man who owns one.”

    Even my Sil, the frothing leftist doesn’t get the connection between the condition her grandmother lived in in North Korea lo these 64 years, and the policies the overlords there pursued, and how similar they are to what we’re seeing put in effect here in America today.