news from absurdistan, item #2,912.

Fifth-grader points finger in gun-like fashion; gets suspended from school. “Level 2 Lookalike Firearm” sure sounds a whole lot less idiotic than “pointing your index finger and thumb”. Public education is on the ropes in this country not because we aren’t spending enough money on it, but because the lion’s share of it goes toward […]

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turns out I’m a fraud.

Did you know that I have rigged Amazon’s review system to sell my mediocre, derivative novel, and that I’m taking money from other authors that actually deserve those reviews and sales? Yeah, that’s why the novella still isn’t finished. I spent all my writing time making seven hundred sock puppet accounts to game Amazon’s review […]

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the government shutdown diaries.

Tuesday: Day One of the government shutdown. Park rangers are furloughed. The fires from the grizzly bear riots are painting the night sky over Yellowstone bright orange. Bald eagles are ditching their tracking collars and skipping the country. WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END *** Wednesday: Day Two of the government shutdown. They have begun to […]

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yes, but how is his therapy going?

On court-sanctioned liberty from prison, a convicted rapist in Switzerland killed the therapist who was accompanying him to reintegration therapy, fled the country, and was eventually captured by German police just across the Polish border a few days later. Let’s see where the Swiss court system could have possibly gone wrong, and play “spot the […]

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a thrill before dying.

Teenage flight student steals plane for a joyride with two buddies, crashes same, and kills everyone on board. That’s some stunning overconfidence right there. Doesn’t even have his pilot license, has only flown a single-engine Cessna a few times, and takes a twin out at night in IFR conditions, with predictable results. He may have […]

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