this person’s vote cancels out yours.

And this is why we don’t ever read comment sections at YouTube or CNN or pretty much any news site on the Interwebs:

I think currency is the root of all evil. Take away all the inequality and government interference laws like drug and prostitution,etc etc then you take away any reason to commit a crime

I would say that’s a stunning display of lacking education, but there is of course the possibility that this commenter is a humanities professor.

a thrill before dying.

Teenage flight student steals plane for a joyride with two buddies, crashes same, and kills everyone on board.

That’s some stunning overconfidence right there. Doesn’t even have his pilot license, has only flown a single-engine Cessna a few times, and takes a twin out at night in IFR conditions, with predictable results. He may have had a few hours in a flight school 172, maybe even soloed one, but Twins are a little trickier to handle than single-engine planes, and they are much less forgiving of pilot error. Three lives snuffed out and a perfectly good Piper Twin Comanche turned to charred scrap metal, all because of teenage hormones switching off good judgment.

One guy in the comment section probably has it right when he predicts that the owner of that Twin Comanche will get sued by the families of the deceased teenagers, for failing to adequately secure his bird against unqualified kids flying off with it.

careful, your mascara is running.

I avoided looking at the display model iPhones on the way in, and averted my gaze from everyone elses iPhones. I wanted to enrich the experience of opening my own iPhone 5, and make it more special than it already would be…

You know you’re a pampered, entitled little whiner when you go to buy a new iPhone and feel compelled to write a tear-soaked blog post on how the AT&T rep “ruined” your first impressions of the phone by carelessly unwrapping everything prior to setting it up. ZOMG! He didn’t leave the protective film on it so I could peel it off in a quasi-religious trance! He unwrapped my USB cord so I was deprived of the experience! WAAAA! This is followed by a list of “How To” tips that outline how the experience should have gone. (In this kid’s ideal world, the salesguy should practically avoid eye contact and treat you like you’re in a bank opening a precious lockbox.)

The folks at the phone store don’t have the time to let every customer spend fifteen minutes ritually unpacking and getting to know their new iPhone. On iPhone launch day, these places are wall-to-wall with hipster kids looking to pick up their new phones between hitting Starbucks and pretending to go to class. You don’t want to make them late for their Ethnic Basketweaving 101 class so you can smell the packaging on your new iPhone.

betcha he was wearing flip-flops and oakleys, too.

Dumbass of the Month award goes to this guy, who taped himself going 180+ MPH on a busy Canadian highway on a motorcycle.

Runner up is the dumbworm who made this comment on the CNN intertubes site:

“Aaah…how, exactly, was a guy on a motorcycle going to kill anyone? Most likely case: he crashes into a car, and he dies.”

Physics knowledge FAIL. A 400-pound bike with a 200-pound rider going 180MPH is a metric fuckton of kinetic energy. Anyone unlucky enough to be rear-ended by that moron at those speeds would have had a very bad day indeed. Imagine an anvil getting shot out of a cannon and plowing through an occupied minivan from back to front.